Assisted Living Needs: How to Discuss and Resolve Disagreements

Is your family becoming worried about a parent struggling to live at home? Are you beginning to see signs of difficulty with the basic tasks of daily life? It’s not uncommon for many adult children to find themselves faced with the following concerns:

• The parent is beginning to fall and may become injured
• The parent is becoming more isolated from others
• The parent is no longer able or willing to shop and cook healthy meals
• The parent is becoming lonely and showing signs of depression
• The parent is unable to keep up with housekeeping or laundry
• The parent is unable to keep up with the home’s ongoing maintenance

When these concerns arise, the family will usually begin exploring options. This might include bringing additional help into the home, siblings picking up more of the slack or asking the parent to move in with one of them.

However, the challenges may continue for a variety of reasons:

1. There is only one adult child, or none, that lives in the same city as the parent
2. Level of help needed exceeds the added hours a family member can contribute
3. Bringing in additional services still leaves too many hours of the day when the parent is alone
4. The parent doesn’t want to move in with a child
5. Level of help needed is continuing to increase and a more permanent solution is needed

Could assisted living be the best answer?

For many families, there is one option that can address all of the above concerns.

An assisted living community.

Designed specifically to lend a helping hand when needed, they provide:

• Private residences
• Support to continue living an independent life
• Healthy diet and nutritious menu choices
• Fitness opportunities
• Friendship and companionship
• Easily accessible and fun activities
• Entertaining social events
• Scheduled transportation
• Housekeeping and laundry services
• Maintenance-free lifestyle

When families disagree about assisted living needs

Although assisted living may seem like the answer to the parent’s struggles, it is still a big decision for a family to make. It can be difficult for the parent but it can also be hard for the adult children as well.

Why?

Here are a few reasons that the family may disagree about assisted living:

1. Some adult children haven’t accepted that their parent is getting older and is in need of assistance.  
2. An adult child may not agree that the care needed is to the level of assisted living.
3. The parent may be confiding in a child that they don’t want to move, leaving this child to support another option.

Resolving family disagreements regarding assisted living

Regardless of the differing opinions, it’s important not to get stuck in the disagreement as well as not to avoid the subject. Your parent still needs help.  

Consider these tips to help your family through an impasse:

1. Acknowledge what is most important

The focus of the conversation is to make sure your parent is safe and well cared for. That is the priority. Acknowledge that there is disagreement in how to make that happen but agree to be respectful and keep the focus on the well-being of your parent.

2. What does your parent want?

Unless your parents are cognitively unable, this decision should be theirs to make. If the parent feels strongly about remaining at home and is able to do so safely or is unsure of the right choice, the children’s involvement should be one of support and encouragement, as well as to contribute if additional help is needed.

3. Agree to disagree

Acknowledge the different viewpoints and give everyone a chance to present their opinion without interruption. Be a good listener and remember that each child wants the best for their parent. Acknowledge that their points are valid, even if you disagree with them, and be positive that a solution will be found.

4. Involve the medical team

Bringing in a third party can often help break the stalemate. With your parent’s permission, discuss possible solutions with the doctor or other care team members about what recommendation they would make based on the parent’s health or other experiences.

5. Discuss the main points of contention

Try to find common ground. If adult children reject assisted living because they fear their parent will lose independence, arrange to visit a community and ask these questions. Many children and their parents are pleasantly surprised at the independence and other advantages of today’s assisted living.

6. Encourage honesty

Take emotion out of the situation and encourage each other to express what’s really troubling them. If you discover you’re having a hard time admitting that your strong and protective dad now needs help himself, opposing a move won’t resolve those feelings. Find ways to accept the reality.

7. Look for a compromise

Sometimes there is a compromise. Keeping in mind the safety and well-being of the parent, is there a way that can achieve the overall goal, even in the short term? For example, try combining an outside homecare service with additional hours provided by the children. Agree to revisit again in six months and if needed, reconsider assisted living.  

8. Schedule a visit to a few communities

See firsthand what assisted living is like. Along with your parent, arrange to have a meal there. Tour the amenities and activities offered. Discuss what opportunities there are to meet new people. Everyone may walk away agreeing this could greatly improve the quality of your parent’s life.

Assisted Living at Seaside Hallandale Beach

If your family is considering assisted living as the place to best support your parent, we invite you to visit Seaside Hallandale Beach and discover all the benefits that having a little help can provide.

We understand this can be a difficult decision, but we are here to answer all your questions and help your loved one achieve an independent life well-lived.

Here are a few of the amenities you’ll find available in our pet friendly community:

• A monthly social calendar of activities
• Beautiful common spaces to socialize
• Weekly housekeeping
• A spacious courtyard
• An outdoor pool with covered patio
• Personalized fitness and wellness programs
• Scheduled transportation
• Easy and safe access to the beach

If you have any questions about assisted living or Seaside Hallandale Beach Senior Living, please contact us at 954-607-1000 or download our brochure.

Click here to download the brochure: https://seaside.ac-page.com/dab-seaside-lp